Whew! Recovery from life...

Hello again dear friends,

Of course my posts are not going to come at any regular sort of interval, just yet.  I have been "busy" recuperating from the hospital stay, and Christmas.  So much activity, I slept for many days after Christmas and New Year.

I recently had my 4th bone marrow biopsy, and also had to recover from that.  It was very draining and harder than the previous procedures.  Also saw the vascular doctor and repeated the carotid scan; things are patent.  Which is awesome news; however, the reality of what that means with carotid artery disease looms in the back of my head.  Also getting scheduled for updated MRI of brain and spine, to assess the progression of the cancer. 

Waiting patiently on the biopsy results, as this will determine what course of action we are able to take at this time.  I have prayed that I become eligible for a stem cell transplant for a year now.  At the age of 48, I am prime candidate because I am young and determined.  I also have strength.  I want to have this procedure to live.  There is no other way.  Recently my brother, Christopher, arranged a drive with Be the Match, in my honor.  I was able to travel and take part in that, and I am so proud that we collected many new donors for the registry, and possibly a match for me!!  It's just the horrific waiting...

So much has transpired over the past 3 years, it is all sometimes too hard to mentally adapt to, as well as physically.  I want to do the things that normal people do; the old me.  Run and play and laugh with my daughter.  Go on adventures with my boys.  I mean, so much has been taken away.  Sometimes touch hurts me so bad, so my physical expressions are less than they used to be.  It is all simply frustrating.  On top of dealing with my own limitations and emotions, I have those of my children.  My daughter is struggling.  The boys express fear.  It all consumes me to be with them every minute and tell them over and over again how much I love them.  How much I want them to succeed in this world, with or without me.

Oh, too much for one post.  And, my oldest son is here discussing life.  So, my attention turns to him.

Love