Mom's got cancer...now what?

For many, the heart of the home is the mother, but it can be any other central figure, who is the "heart" of the home.  The one who keeps it all together-who knows all the kid's birthdays, social security numbers-well, at least I know where they are! The person who fixes boo boos, listens to tall tales-literally, and the all around go to, in the family.  In this family, that is me.  I am called, Mom.

WOW!  Mom is a huge undertaking.  With my oldest at the ripe young age of 20, and my youngest turning a mere 8, in just a few months.  Don't forget the "middle kids"-there are really two middle kids, becoming young men themselves at the ripe young ages of 18 and 17, well almost 17.  He and his sister share their birthday; and she is adopted!  That is another story for another time-a blessing, not a coincidence.

I was diagnosed just two short years ago; and I say short, because it seems like they flew by.  I was beginning to have symptoms that affected my health.  After nearly a year of testing, our worst fears became our reality.  And I say our, a lot!  It is me who has to deal with the physicality of cancer, but it is ALL OF US, who have to deal with the emotional, spiritual, and mental aspects of a family member with cancer.  By the way, I haven't found a book yet, or a list of things to employ, that have helped me, help my family deal with my cancer.  I will say, humor has helped greatly!  Making jokes makes the reality, seem a little less hard to deal with. 

So, now what?  I have shared that laughter really is the best medicine, it has been for us; while it is the oldest cliché in the book, it has merit.  Sadly though, it does not solve all problems, all the time.

For reference, we have been dealing with this cancer diagnosis, like I mentioned, for 2 years.  In that time, we have had to adjust to the reality of Mom having 2 TIAs (which are caused by clots breaking free). Lucky me, I have a cluster of clots, explained to me as looking like a "bunch of grapes", at the base of my left anterior brain.  Keeping my body in a "hematogically balanced state", is the key to keeping my clots under control.  I have had to visit the ER many times for various different organ dysfunctions, and visited many different doctors, for many different reasons.  One would think a person with cancer has one doctor to organize the whole mess, but in reality many doctors are needed because cancer, my cancer anyhow, is a systemic disease.  Meaning, it effects the entire body in some way.  In a nutshell, we have had to deal with the progressive decline of my body and how it functions. 

The boys, have all had to take an active part in my daily care, and take me to many of my appointments.  This is something that I never dreamed of after becoming their mother.  I am the rock, not them.  But, I have learned to cherish the time with them, and see that I have no regrets in the way that they were raised, because they are fine, well adjusted young men.  They have circled around me in a way that I can only explain as, protecting mama grizzly bear.  They make sure my meds are taken, my needs are met, and include me in their daily lives.  2 of the 3 still reside at home-something I am very thankful for-another tribute to myself for being the greatest mother!  In all honesty, they could be running out the door with their "coming of age" independence.  But I relish in their company and when it is their time to leave the nest, I will be their BIGGEST cheerleader!

I have spoken to dealing with cancer as a family, using laughter.  I have also given a glimpse into how we got where we are now-living and surviving with a rare progressive blood cancer.  But...it is right now, in the present moment, when we begin to really face how cancer is going to effect our whole family.

Stay tuned....we are going to address the "now what", in the next blog post.  Did I mention that my memory is toast, mush, or whatever you want to call a brain that has been subject to strokes, chemo, multiple drugs, and cancer in general.  A little bit at a time.....

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Beauty in Nature

A girl and her cats!

Hurricane Irma 2017

It Is Only Tuesday....ARG!

It's only Tuesday, first of all, I need some new batteries in my keyboard; I need to fix the screen on my IPhone, because that thing is an important part of my life-school, jobs, school, after school programs, blah blah blah...the list goes on.  I digress...

Liz is home from school today, which sets me back on my goals a bit; it is hard to focus on the needs of a 7 year old, and be a mom with cancer.  Somehow that sentence is going to become a jumping point for a series of blogs, soon as I get organized, again.

For this week, I have a new goal.  I am enrolled in a pilot app study for meditation, while using a Fitbit-all for the Doctors at Arizona State University, under the direction of Dr. Reuben Mesa and the Mayo Clinic.  So excited.  I worn the thing for week one, to assess my baseline activity and sleep patterns.  I desperately need help in the sleep category; my sleeping has decreased due to pain and illness.  I am hoping to learn a few things about myself, and my daily life-yet also excited to have a purpose.  This study will help MPN sufferers in the future, AMEN.

We, like everyone in my house has this disease-are embarking on a new direction in our journey with cancer.  So far, palliative medications haven't help for symptomatic burden.  I am currently doing a two week trial of steroids, while patiently waiting for all the results to come in from labs and biopsy.  While some think I am crazy, duly noted...I have prayed for worst case scenario, because that is the only opportunity that I have for a shot at LIFE.  I have to be worst before they will even consider fixing me.  And no, stem cell transplant is not without complications, even earlier death-I DON'T CARE.  I am a strong persistent woman, who will not give this life up without a fight.  I have so much love to give, surely God is just showing me how strong I really am before stepping out in the criminal justice arena. LOL. 

I WANT:
to live
to work
to see my children grow
to love
to save innocents
to help spread justice
to see the world experience true peace

Ok for now.  I am going to work on my first CALM application.  I will then come back and freshen up the blog, ready to attract new readers.  Then I will share links and more information about the CALM application!  Couldn't we all use a little CALM in our lives?  I think so!

believe and you will receive